The whole idea of the wedding itself may be traumatic for the children of the bride or groom ‐ their lives are changing as well as those of their parents…
Making children part of a second wedding will help allay any concerns. Here’s how to make them a part of everything…
Children don’t necessarily look forward to a second marriage in the way that the parent who is getting remarried does.
In fact, the whole idea of the wedding itself may be traumatic for the children of the bride or groom ‐‐ their lives are changing as well as those of their parents, the difference being that the adults have chosen to make the change, whereas the children are often just expected to fit in.
It’s important, therefore, for parents and stepparents to carefully consider the children’s needs when it comes to the wedding. How can the children be drawn into the wedding plans and be encouraged to feel that they too have played a part in the decision making?
Here are a few ideas:
- The invitations could include the children’s names or even be from them, inviting friends and relatives to their parent’s wedding.
- Separate invitations from the children could be sent to their own friends and young relatives, they could have their own ‘reception’
- Older children could be invited to take part in the ceremony by giving a reading, making a speech or proposing a toast.
- Sons and daughters, even quite young ones, can act as best man, ushers, bridesmaids or flower girls.
- The bride could be escorted down the aisle by her child or children, who could ‘give her away’.
- A nice touch would be a separate decorated sponge cake for the children and they could ceremoniously cut it at the same time their parents cut theirs, then be given the responsibility to hand it around to the younger guests. This also allows a choice of cake for the adults who may not appreciate the richness of traditional wedding cake.
